Um, hi…. Sorry I took so long.

13 07 2011

The original tittle of this blog… that I started last week was “21 Days, A reflection”.  It was supposed to be some deep and spiritual blog about the 21 day fast my husband and I had just finished.  Only when I sat down to write it, I had… NOTHING.   I tweeted “blog coming soon” several times… but every time I tried to write, I had nothing to say. To be honest, that is how I felt a lot of the time through the fast. Even to the point of almost quitting cause it seemed pointless.  I wasn’t getting any visions or huge spiritual moments.  I barely got anything at all.   The physical part of the fast wasn’t so bad either.  Not eating dairy, meat or most processed carbs was not as hard as I thought it was going to be, although there were a few nights that I might have given my left  arm for a glass of wine after a long day with a 2 year old. I actually felt a lot healthier and we have made a lot o changes to our regular diet ( for the better) because of it.

So now, almost 2 weeks have gone by and I’ve had a bit more time to reflect and listen to God.  Here’s what I learned…

1) God is changing my heart slowly..otherwise I’ll FREAK out. 

I grew up a very lucky only child.  I was never in want of anything.  My parents were married (40 years this year), I had a good education, etc…  When I came to the Lord as an adult, he showed me my gifts in the ministries of music and creative arts.  My Christian life was pretty easy.  But lately, God’s been breaking my heart for the suffering.  The unlucky in life.  Showing me more and more how RICH I am in so many ways, and how I idolize so much of it.  OUCH.  It hurts.  He’s breaking my heart so it is more like His…. slowly.  I love how He knows that if He did this quickly, I might freak out and rebel like my 14 year old self.

2) I turn to 8 other things before I turn to God for Comfort.

Ok, maybe not 8.. but I have so many things I turn to when I am feeling down, or stressed.  Anything from my husband, to food, Facebook, TV, you get the idea.  But I’m supposed to come to Him.  He tells us to “cast our cares” on Him, but I don’t do that often enough and I need to.  I had a pretty bad day yesterday and, long story short, I just sat and cried to Him and told him all the horrible ( read: MINOR things in BIG picture) things that had gone wrong and why I was frustrated and upset and afraid.  then I just asked for comfort and Peace.  My entire household slept solidly through the night last night for the first time in awhile… coincidence?

3) I need to Believe in the Power of Prayer… and exercise it more.

Do you ever feel that when you say “I’ll pray for you” that it feels more like a “sorry I can’t do anything Real / Helpful for you”?  Do you know, I mean REALLY know that its the biggest thing we can do for someone?  I’m not talking a “Dear God, please heal Susy” but on your knees praying and interceding for someone.   When my Husband was deployed, I had a lot more free time on my hands. I prayed a lot, I talked to God about everything.  Now that my Hubby is home, I’m busier.  We have more social things to do, church meetings, date nights, etc.  I lost a lot of prayer time and God misses our talks.  I have also been feeling guilty about not praying when I know I need to do it more.

So there you have it. nothing earth shattering or mind blowing.  No sheets dropped from the sky with life altering visions.  Just a few little glimpses into the person God is trying to mold me into.   …I press on towards the goal.

Till next time!