Ladies, what are YOU wearing this summer when you lead worship?

31 05 2011

As I stood in my closet yesterday morning at 530am looking at all my cute summer tops (it’s STILL too cold to wear any of them) and trying to decide WHAT to wear as I led worship that morning, my mind began to wander towards summertime. Warm weather, evenings on the patio, then my mind went back to church… I don’t know about you,but in the summer our church gets HOT. By the second service the worship team is usually pretty sweaty.  So I started thinking of cute outfits that would keep me from melting and God whispered… but are they Worship appropriate? Hmmmm… what is and isn’t OK for women to wear on stage while leading worship?
When I lived in Santa Cruz about 10 years ago, most of church was young and good looking REALLY good looking.  The first time I took my husband with me to visit he deemed it “church of the pretty people”. LOL  Anyway, I remember  a conversation one night with a few friends and one of the guys telling us “hey, some of the stuff you girls wear can be distracting for us”… “REALLY?”  I’m not talking club clothing. But things like spaghetti straps, off the shoulder tops, shorter skirts, things that are maybe a little TOO clingy, etc. It was kind of shocking to have our Christian brothers be honest with us. But at the same time it was refreshing, and I was thankful that they were comfortable to enough to say “hey, this is an issue for us”.  The truth is that men are visual, and men struggle. All of them. We girls were pretty clueless, we just thought we looked “cute”. It was the first time my eyes had been opened to the thought that what I wore on stage and how it might effect my message of focusing on Jesus…. and it has always stuck with me. I’ve been in several church worship ministries since then.  Some with and some without “dress codes”.  But I think all churches should have one.   I don’t think they should all be the same, but I think guidelines are a good idea.  Why?  Because I know I wasn’t the only 20-something without a clue. I know there are other ladies out there thinking “wow I never thought of it that way”.  Because I know sexual sins, addiction and pornography run rampant in our churches today, and church shouldn’t be a place where our brothers need to worry about these things.  Romans 14:13 says “Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.” We are so blessed to be able to take to the stage and lead God’s people into a state of worship through song. I personally don’t want to be responsible for leading someone’s thoughts astray or causing them to struggle with a personal sin because of something I’m wearing.

So as you are getting dressed this summer and ready to take the stage, take a look in the mirror.  There is NOTHING wrong with a stylish outfit, a cute top and some good shoes 🙂 BUT make sure at the end of it all you are still saying “Look at God!” and not “Look at me”.





Blogging, and other summertime goals…

23 05 2011

It’s May 22, we’ve had approximately 3 days over the temp of 70º and it’s currently raining AGAIN… BUT I KNOW summer is a comin, and like every new season I like to have a list of goals, dreams and aspirations.
God has been really calling me to a more SIMPLE way of life. Especially regarding finances and “needs” versus “wants”, so I’m trying to incorporate that into things this summer as well. small changes make lasting changes. So anyway, here’s my list

1) Social Media. This means blogging at least once weekly. I started this blog in Jan. I’ve used it …um 3 times maybe. If anyone actually reads it, sorry. I’ll do better 🙂 Also learning more about twitter, pinterest and tumblr. Stay tuned…

2) Start doing mosaics again. I love this art, my friend Joni taught me how back when we lived in Italy. I just haven’t had time and space for it since we moved and Daniel was born. It’s not like I can go around the house cutting shards of glass everywhere with a 2 year old. Planning to clear a section of our unfinished basement and make it my project center.

3) My garden. I built an 8 x 4 planting box, filled it with dirt and planted some veggies. As I was planting I became increasingly motivated, excited and passionate about gardening. I’ve never really done it, heck the plants may all be dead next week. LOL. But for now, I’m starting with these and hoping that I can get at least another 4×4 built in the next month for some other things. Looking forward to seeing how much $ I can save by growing fresh and possibly try canning this fall.

4) Saving Money. I have lots of ideas and ways I want to try. From cutting electricity bills ( hello clothes line), couponing, planning our menus, cutting back on processed foods and cooking from scratch. Got any ideas? Would love to hear them.

So that’s about it. I think all of these are easily attainable. Somewhere between, marriage, mommyhood, work, church and a surgery each for hubby and I… yeah, I can do this. 🙂 Till next time..





Mary Did you know?

22 04 2011

Tomorrow night I’ll be delivering a monologue during our Friday night service as Mary Magdalene. If I can memorize the dang thing. I wrote it about a week ago… it took me forever because I was trying to come from a place where people hurting today could understand. I didn’t want to hand hold the “audience” by saying ” I am Mary of Madgala, blah, blah, blah. But there was SO much Speculation about her, how much was actually TRUTH. So, while it’s obscure, I think it works and I think she will be recognized. SO I got it done….. then my husband came home from 7 months of deployment, my son turned 2, my son got stomach flu and had us up all night, the transmission started to go on the car, I had to work, my husband got the stomach thing 2 nights later and here we are… Thursday night. I can sort of fumble my way through it. I’m stressed about it and the perfectionist in me wants to curl up in a ball and cry. Why didn’t they just ask me to sing a song??? I could have busted out “via dolarosa” and been done.
anyhow, I will share it here… so if you are one of the very few who read this and go tomorrow night and wonder what I am babbling about… here’s what I was supposed to say… Please add vocal inflections and dramatic pauses where appropriate.

I’m not even sure … what to say right now. It’s still dark, I’m still covered in dirt, I can still smell the stench of blood and death. And for what? Because he loved people? Because he healed people? Taught them forgiveness, instructed them how to love each other, how to pray. No, but because they felt jealous and threatened. Their rules and laws that they’ve held over us for so long. Making us feel less holy, less worthy of God then they were… when really they were hungry for superiority and power. Power they will never have.

Jesus had true power, power to just touch someone and heal them of sickness, blindness or worse. And I know first hand. Before I met him I was filled with demonic presence. 7 in all. They ruled me. Ruled my heart, my mind, my emotions… made me think no one would ever love me, because I was worth NOTHING. I was so filled with hate, fear, rejection, hurt.. I felt dead inside.

That is until I met him. It was a regular day, but it changed my life forever. I was passing as he was teaching in a field and I stopped to listen for while. After all, he was all I had been hearing about for days in the marketplace. …. When he had finished , he began to make his way to me, everything inside me wanted to run and hide, but I couldn’t move… then said my name…he knew my NAME?!, he reached out, touched my hand and with the quietest, yet strongest voice I ever heard said… leave her. All at once I felt dizzy, but giddy and light and I…. for the first time in my life I felt JOY. Not the fleeting happiness that people mistake for Joy. But JOY, and peace. I was FREE , It was the most incredible thing.

He didn’t care about my past, He didn’t care what I had done, He didn’t care what people said about me… He only cared about ME. He helped me to look past all the titles and labels, some I put on myself. He saw not only who I was, but who I could be. I knew He had healed me for a reason, a purpose, and I determined to follow this man who could do such wonders. He had looked past everything, and just saw me… and I saw Him.

From there I sold up most of my belongings…, you see, before I met Jesus I was a woman of… business. Buy, sell, trade…And whatever you may think that entails, you are probably right. But my years in the world had taught me to be smart with what I had and I was able to have quite a bit of money that I used to help pay for Jesus and his disciples to travel and teach.

Most of the time I traveled with them. Soaking up as much as I could of his presence, his teachings. He was my friend, my teacher… “Rabboni!” I would call him. He taught me about REAL love, not the emotional thing that everyone gets caught up in, but real love. The kind you Choose, not feel. He showed me Love, in the purest sense. Before Jesus I was broken, hopeless, trash. I never thought I would feel like I was worth something… but he changed all that.

Today they killed him. CRUCIFY him they yelled. Beat him, tortured him. More than I have ever seen them do to a prisoner. Then they hung him for all to see. We were there for what felt like days… we got as close to him as we could… I .. I just cried, and screamed. I couldn’t understand… I still don’t. WHY?!?! After about the 6th hour the sky went black… the crowd got quiet…some left. I stayed. I stayed with him till he cried out “my God, MY GOD”… and then he was gone
And now… what is left? What does this mean? I think about it and I cry. I cry when I think about watching him die. the hate I saw in the eyes of those who beat him, who nailed him to that tree and mocked him. I cry when I think of returning home without him. What do I do now? What will the rest of us do? He was our hope, our light… He was supposed to change the world. He said he had plans and that someday I would understand… but I don’t. and now he is gone.
and now what is left, but hope lost and fear.





My Offering of Worship…

29 03 2011

We recently launched a “prayer space” at our church in Ogden Utah. I hand painted the entire wall ( except the base coat). The wall is lined with leather benches, small tables and lamps.  bulldog clips were drilled into the wall and people can leave write their prayers and clip them to the wall….  creating a modern day wailing wall.  Communion is available to the community 24 / 7 as is the space to come and pray, alone or with a group.   I share the photos in hope of inspiring other artists and creative minds to create sacred spaces as acts of worship…

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What’s in a Name?

7 12 2010

The first thing I had to do when creating this blog was come up with a name… insert brain freeze here… I came up with a bunch of words I liked, thought about what I wanted the blog to be about, called a friend for her input, pondered some more. I knew I wanted this blog to be about all the things in my life that I have a passion about. Some days it’s my walk with Christ, some days its a really good deal at Costco. How could I incorporate everything without looking like a hot mess? So I started to think musically, songs that moved me, lyrics I loved. 1) Lifesong – too cheesy and over 50 blogs with that word in the title 2) Meadowlark – taken and no one would really understand it anyway…
3) Blah Blah Blah…seriosuly? yep, taken. 4) nothingcreative …TAKEN!
5) A Beautiful Collision…. ok, technically taken as well but not MY Beautiful collision.
Ok, so why? My life ( as many of us) is a collision of passions, duties, interests, emotions, family, work, friends and so on. I thought it was a perfect way to put everything I wanted to talk about in one place.
On a spiritual and musical level, it’s also a song, that I love and God really used to speak to me recently. The Lyrics are…
“The heart breaking makes a sound
I never knew could be
So beautiful and loud
Fury filled and we collide

So courageous until now
Fumbling and scared
So afraid You’ll find me out,
Alone here with my doubt

Here it comes, a beautiful collision
Is happening now.
There seems no end to where You begin and there I am now
You and I collide

Something circling inside,
Spaciously you fly
Infinite and wide,
Like the moon and sky
Collide

Here it comes, a beautiful collision
Is happening now.
There seems no end to where you begin and there I am now
You and I, collide”

Its about relationship with Christ… when you are in true relationship, it’s a circle of sorts… a collision of God and His infinite grace, mercy, love and plan for my life and me, a broken woman.

So there you have it. The reason behind the name. As I continue to start this blog, I’ll probably post more about who I am and who I want to be.





Because I need one more thing to do…

7 12 2010

It’s been on my heart to start a blog for awhile now.  Not really sure why, since I don’t have a lot of time and  I don’t like to write.  BUT, I follow my gut and we’ll see where this goes.  More meaningful posts coming soon…